REMORSE

The very front of her gravestone was perfect to lay Matthew’s picture of his mom. It was right where everyone could see it when they walked by in the cemetery, a beautiful spot with soft well-groomed grass and tall trees. Matthew’s wife Jennifer, his friend Sam, and his dog Max walked up beside him, placing flowers onto the gravestone. Jennifer placed a hand on Matthew’s shoulder.

“Do you need anything, hun?” Jennifer asked.

“No,” said Matthew. “Just go make the picnic, I’ll stay here for a while.”

“Are you sure? I can stay with yo–"

“I’m fine, Jen,” Matthew barked. “I need to be alone for a while.”

Jennifer took her hand off Matthew’s shoulder, going with Sam and Max to a nearby tree to set up their picnic. Meanwhile, Matthew stood above the gravestone, thinking back. “I’m sorry I couldn’t see you in the hospital, mom,” Matthew said. “I wish I was there, to say hello. To say goodbye.” Matthew knelt down, laying his hand in front of the gravestone, before getting back to the picnic.

“Crap,” said Jennifer.

“What?” asked Sam.

“I forgot to get drinks,” said Jennifer.

“Are you serious?” asked Matthew.

“I’m sorry” Jennifer said, hanging her head down.

“I can go get them if you want,” Sam said.

“No, I’ll get them myself,” said Matthew, walking away.

“Matthew, just let us help you,” said Sam.

“Help? Does it look like I need your help?” said Matthew.

“Babe, we’re just trying to be here for you,” said Jennifer.

“I don’t need your help, Jen,” Matthew exclaimed. “I don’t need help from anyone. I’m just fine,” Matthew then walked off. The administration building wasn’t too far from where they were, a vending machine sitting just outside the door. He stepped onto the road that ran through the cemetery, walking forwards.

“Matthew, watch out,” Jennifer said.

Matthew turned, a car speeding right for him, and before he knew it, all became black for a while…

“Matthew,” Sam exclaimed.

Matthew’s vision started to recover, the noises of the cemetery dampened by the pain throughout his body and the ringing in his ears. The muffled cries of his wife, Jennifer, and dog, Max, got closer and closer to him, drenched in sorrow.

Oh my god, babe, are you okay?” Jennifer said, kneeling down beside him.

“I don’t know, what do you think?” Matthew said. He looked around, his arms failing to hold him up. A searing pain shot through him as he attempted to see what had happened, groaning in pure agony. A car, with its front end damaged and the windshield cracked, was sitting on the road facing him.

“Just stay with me, okay?” Jennifer said, pulling out her phone and dialed 911.

Max laid next to Matthew, whining and rubbing his nose to his hand. He pats Max’s head before trying to get him to sit.

“Holy crap, Matthew.” Sam ran over to Matthew, holding his hand to check his pulse. “Dang, your hand is cold. And your pulse is through the roof,”

“Oh,” Matthew said.

Eventually his eyes fell, his strength waning. A bright light shined while he closed his eyes, getting bigger and bigger.

“Matthew, keep your eyes open. Matthew? Matthew?” Jennifer called.

At first, all he could see was light. But then, the light changed into a dream of his wedding. He was standing before all of his family and friends, Sam being right next to him. My wedding? Matthew thought as he looked over at everyone, watching Jennifer walk up to the stage. Matthew teared up as he watched Jennifer walk up to the stage. How did I ever end up with someone like her? Matthew thought. I pushed her away. I don’t deserve her. He thought again. The dream then warped, bringing him back to a party he had went to with Sam and his friends. He sat on the porch with a lemonade in hand as Sam laughed.

“You crack me up sometimes, y’know that?” Sam asked, staring off at the sky.

Matthew’s smile grew even wider, though still he questioned it. Oh Sam, I’m so sorry. He thought, looking over at Sam until the dream warped once again, to the shelter where he found Max. He started to cry again, holding Max through the chain-link fence. He could’ve had a better owner than me. Matthew then reflected on Max, and Jennifer, and Sam. What have I been doing? Being rude to them all this time. I don’t deserve them. Matthew went back through memories he’d had of them. Yet still he couldn’t find an answer to his questions, though continuing to search. Then, he found what he was looking for.

“I love you, babe,” said Jennifer.

“I love you, man,” said Sam.

Max’s barks and wagging tail filled Matthew’s brain, along with all of his memories. He finally understood why they were all here. Because they cared for him, and loved him, something he had forgotten and pushed away. That same bright light that brought him into this state came back, washing over everything. No, said Matthew. I can’t die yet. I need them. Matthew covered his eyes from the light. I can’t. I can’t die...

“Matthew? Matthew, wake up. Please, come back.” Jennifer’s hands ran through his hair, being placed into a stretcher by paramedics with Jennifer and Sam walking with him. “Oh, thank god,” she said, hugging Matthew as soon as his eyes had opened.

“I’m sorry. You guys deserved better,” said Matthew, petting Max as he leaned up against the stretcher. Jennifer sobbed with a smile on his face, Sam wiping tears from his eyes.

“It’s okay, Matthew,” said Sam.

Matthew smiled as he was wheeled into the ambulance, with Jennifer climbing in after the paramedic.

“I’ll see you at the hospital,” said Sam.

“Yes, you will.” said Matthew.

Justin Clayton has been writing ever since elementary school, making many characters and worlds. Born in Tennessee, but living most of his life in Florida, he is eager to share his work with the world and bring a new perspective on superheroes and fantasy.