THE MEANING OF LOVE

Love appears to be this untamed force that I can’t seem to pin down. The beauty of love is unparalleled, it is felt in every waking moment of our lives, stranger’s smile on the street to the music that we listened to. Every waking moment of our lives are spent reveling in love- or the lack thereof. But somehow, this unparalleled beauty has horrors of its own. Somehow, love carries a dagger when it enters your life; it never leaves unscathed. Somehow, my greed for love grows larger.

My greed for love is insatiable; I tend to wonder if I will ever find the love that I so deeply desire. And my life overflows with love, from my family to my friends. The love in my life is bountiful. But the love in my life is also hypocritical, it comes with the tides. The love in my life has scarred me. To pine and yearn for a love that may never find me may be my greatest curse.

Love is just as human as the rest of us, maybe love is as deep as humanity itself. The key to understanding love from this perspective is to dive into the depths of what it means to be human. Humanity knows kindness, compassion, and empathy. But humanity also knows selfishness, greed and evil. Those things co-exist in our reality. So saying that love is capable of harm is not entirely untrue. Love may be so full of goodness that at times we ourselves cannot compute that it is in our reality. Love also has the capacity to be just as evil as the rest of humanity can be. Because much like the definition of humanity, to say that love is only good would be a lie. To fully acknowledge the human existence, we must first see that we are a selfish species, innately driven by self-interest.

If love is just as human as we are, that would imply that love is just as dynamic as the human race. No two love stories will ever be the same, each love story has its own set timeline, its own values and ideals that make it unique; each love story has its own unique face. That love evolves as the people evolve, and if the world gets its way, love becomes less hopeful as time goes on. Love is born through labor, through hard work, through the endless toil of creating life. Love is not an easy task one takes on, love is a lifestyle, despite the sorrows that the world may bring. Despite the trauma and flaws that a person inhibits. Despite the selfishness that exists within humanity.

Understanding love is understanding that it is not one dimensional. That because in life, we stumble and misstep, and rediscover who we are, love must be the same. Love is the constant rediscovery and discovery of each other. There can be no rules in love, only stumbles and missteps until you find someone to discover and rediscover. Understand that while love is good you can and will be harmed; grief will always be the price to pay for love.

In my quest to find or narrow down the definition of love, I have discovered the following: to love is to persevere. That is the very essence of what it means to love. And much like life, you must persevere in life in order to live it. Persevering through the trauma and agony of those that you love, persevering through the imperfections that add more depth and dimension to the people that you love, persevering because it is the only option when you love someone.

In order to love fully, maybe I need to stop looking at the ideal version of love. Maybe the ideal version of love, just like everything else in our current reality has been photoshopped and augmented into something it is not. Love is beautiful, but not without imperfection. Maybe all along I have admired love, but not actually loved it. Love is the essence that flows through the universe, “I love you” is both a declaration of devotion and stupidity.

Andrea Vutabwarova is currently a student pursuing an undergraduate degree in accounting sciences. She has always had a deep fascination for written word and poetry, and often found herself deeply moved by it. Writing became a way for Andrea to make sense of the world from her perspective. She often writes prose or essays that help to highlight her current state of mind. When she's not writing, or studying, she enjoys crocheting, sewing or spending valuable time with her family and friends.